summer updates

oh boy! here comes school all over again, hopefully it will be even better then this last year. yes last year is full of memories, but some of them fell better left forgotten.

this summer i have been kept pretty busy, starting with california and then trek, moab river rafting, hanging out with friends, it's been a pretty good last couple of weeks. been doing stuff all over the place, took some ballroom master classes at byu and then camp was the very next week. there was a party at april's house, that was cool to go to. we went to the pool, and everybody got in, even if they didn't really want to. nobobdy was actually in a swimsuit, but luckily i was in shorts at least!

this year in school i'll be taking the matc courses for getting my cna and emt. i'll still be doing ballroom and will be the warm up captain hahahah! (evil laugh!)

i'm heading up to to go to a hotel for the night with rhett and his fam. awesome!

that's all for now. seeya!!!

end of the line

I'm over at Hailey's house right now. we are making cancakes again! brings back the memories. this is the last week of school, then this Saturday we are leaving to California for a week, then coming back, jenna is leaving back home on the thirteenth, but she is going to have a good bye party before she leaves. So, hopefully things end on good terms with her.

well school is almost out and i've got lots of plans for this summer, as soon as school is out, i'm headed to california. and then there is hours and hours of ballroom practice and i'll be starting ballet farely soon as well, this summer i want to put on another fifteen pounds of muscle, work on flexibility, and lots of endurance.

so yeah...

i wouldn't say its going good, but it is going, drama galore, that's what i get for being in high school. there's always that one thing in the back of my head, and i don't know how to get rid of the constant buzzing, whenever i'm around her, i can't manage to get her attention to stay focused whenever i try to talk to her. but recently i've been talking to her more than i used too, now that i have stopped really caring, because of lack of returned attention, i feel more comfortable about being around her, she actually comes up to me now and starts the conversation...


she leaves in a month and i made this picture slideshow for her of all the different things we've done together. Vegas, nationals, prom, just hanging out, all that great stuff.

hahaha,,, last saturday was prom of 2010 and it was awesome! I haven't had that much fun in such a long time, we went for an all day date and then got hme at around 2:30 in the morning, so i was almost on that date for a full twenty four hours, that's crazy...

it was cool just being around my date all day like that. she is an awesome girl to hang around with, i'm so glad i asked her, and that she said yes!!!

i think it was all the things that didn't work out that ended up being the most fun. starting with not being able to find her house, and me being dumb enough to have not gotten her number and address the day before. that was stupidity.

we missed the sunrise but that ended being allright.

dinner was amazing, the girls made the boys and vice versa, they made me and the other guy some polish something, i think it was called perogi en cabasa, that's just a guess though, 'cause i can barely even sound it out right. we made the girls chicken cordon bleu. we all had a salad and garlic bread, and i made this drink out of Seven Up, Kool-Aid, and Jell-o, pretty much awesome.

the dance was at La Caille, a five star restaurant in sandy, it was really cool there, the dance hall that we were in had flowers and vines and other plants all over the room, so it was really humid, but it was really cool to look at, and there were mirrors all over the place, but most of the time i didn't even realize they were mirrors, it was crazy.

hmmm... then at the end of the last song, she finally told me! auuggghhhhh, it was so awesome. i wondered about it for so long, but now she finally told me, and then i went in for it, and it was just perfect.

that is the best date i have ever been on. period. the most fun i have had in a really long time, i just did not want the night to end. the whole day was just so much fun, how could it end? i don't want to ever forget that night.

but, the day before i had been looking for my camera so i could take pictures, but it disapeared on me, and i was looking for it on saturday and still couldn't find it. and then on sunday i was looking through my backpack, and as soon as i opened the bag, i could it sitting there at the bottom of the bag. grr.... ..... that was frustrating, but hopefully i can get all the pictures that everyone else took. that would be great, because i saw the ones my mom took of us, but she didn't have very much space on her card so we didn't get that many.

well i got to go,

see ya

i know, cancakes, avatar, and laughter

keeping the light on

this song is about hope, moving on...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xs5lSWwZmCg

hhhmmm... this all feels strange. so last night i was just sitting there staring at my wall for a while, but i didn't want to go to bed, even though it was way past midnight. being fairly worn out, i needed to go to bed, however i couldn't manage to slow down my brain enough to relax. to many planes flying in circles around my mind


"The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia

Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here"
-Vanilla Twilight

subjected to what was lost...
slowly fading... reflections of a life keep me waiting
and i can't understand why i'm not putting it behind me,

why i can't forget and turn away

give up the fight turn it over to Him,

it's not for me to decide

right now is not about me

it's about what i could do in a few years,

how much i can change for the better,
not myself, something greater.

looking at the sun
finding the beauty in something forgotten
finding it in all things
for the light in here eyes



"And time stands still beneath the air of waiting hours
To touch, just to feel a love that seems to overpower me

She’s all I’ll ever need

And you know her love just hypnotizes me

‘til all I see is beautiful

At night I dream that you were sent to me from heaven

Ma life, it seems so lonely here without your presence
You could change my everyday

And I could never think of love without your name

As you remain



Beautiful – like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain
Like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break
Beautiful – like the joy that comes when the love you’ve longed for has just begun

Making everything brand new
Beautiful you



And all this time you’re changing me to something better

A love so high that everyday that we’re together

I will leave the world below

Until your heart becomes the only thing I know
All I know is


Beautiful – like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain
Like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break
Beautiful – like the joy that comes when the love you’ve longed for has just begun
Making everything brand new
Beautiful you"
-Beautiful



a day worth trading yesterday

i'll tear apart my soul,

i'll give away all i know

for you


"Standing alone with my heart in your hands
Longing to just breathe you in
You traded our love for a life of desert lands
Giving yourself away again

But I will give my life to win your heart
And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home

For all that is true, for all of the way
With all of my life
You hold my heart, you have my love
You are my bride


Without a goodbye a passion of lies

Steals you away

The thirst of desire is drawing you in

But the memories of white, the garden

Of life is taken away
But I'm fighting to hold you again

So I will give my life to win your heart

And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home

For all that is true, for all of the way

With all of my life

You hold my heart, you have my love

You are my bride



Nothing can shatter the promise
I made to you
Our love will make you whole
I will be faithful, dying to be with youI will not let you go

But I will give my life to win your heart

And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home
For all that is true, for all of the way
With all of my life
You are my love, you are my church
You are my bride"
-Desert Lands


"And there you stand opened heart--opened doors
Full of life with the world that's wanting more.
But I can see when the lights start to fade,
the day is done and your smile has gone away.

Let me raise you up.

Let me be your love.


May I hold you
as you fall to sleep,
when the world is closing in
and you can't breathe.
May I love you. May I be your shield.
When no one can be found
may I lay you down.

All I want is to keep you safe from the cold...

to give you all that your heart needs the most.



Let me raise you up

Let me be your love


May I hold you
as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
When no one can be found,
may I lay you down.

All that's made me

Is all worth trading

just to have one moment with you.

So I will let go (will let go)

all that I know (that I know)

knowing that you're here with me.

For your love is changing me.


May I hold you as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
when no one can be found
may I lay you down
may I..."
-May I


will you let me, as my heart dies
here we go again
as i know it will never end...
for me...
i see you now, that we both realize
i will not begin, what started long ago
ending as a puddle on the floor