hhhmmm... this all feels strange. so last night i was just sitting there staring at my wall for a while, but i didn't want to go to bed, even though it was way past midnight. being fairly worn out, i needed to go to bed, however i couldn't manage to slow down my brain enough to relax. to many planes flying in circles around my mind


"The stars lean down to kiss you

And I lie awake and miss you

Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly

But I'll miss your arms around me

I'd send a postcard to you, dear

'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue

But it's not the same without you

Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad

'Cause the spaces between my fingers

Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways

Though I haven't slept in two days

'Cause cold nostalgia

Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight

I'll sit on the front porch all night

Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew

But I swear I won't forget you

Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here"
-Vanilla Twilight

subjected to what was lost...
slowly fading... reflections of a life keep me waiting
and i can't understand why i'm not putting it behind me,

why i can't forget and turn away

give up the fight turn it over to Him,

it's not for me to decide

right now is not about me

it's about what i could do in a few years,

how much i can change for the better,
not myself, something greater.

looking at the sun
finding the beauty in something forgotten
finding it in all things
for the light in here eyes



"And time stands still beneath the air of waiting hours
To touch, just to feel a love that seems to overpower me

She’s all I’ll ever need

And you know her love just hypnotizes me

‘til all I see is beautiful

At night I dream that you were sent to me from heaven

Ma life, it seems so lonely here without your presence
You could change my everyday

And I could never think of love without your name

As you remain



Beautiful – like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain
Like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break
Beautiful – like the joy that comes when the love you’ve longed for has just begun

Making everything brand new
Beautiful you



And all this time you’re changing me to something better

A love so high that everyday that we’re together

I will leave the world below

Until your heart becomes the only thing I know
All I know is


Beautiful – like the summer rain to wash away the winter stain
Like the morning sun inviting the dawn to break
Beautiful – like the joy that comes when the love you’ve longed for has just begun
Making everything brand new
Beautiful you"
-Beautiful



a day worth trading yesterday

i'll tear apart my soul,

i'll give away all i know

for you


"Standing alone with my heart in your hands
Longing to just breathe you in
You traded our love for a life of desert lands
Giving yourself away again

But I will give my life to win your heart
And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home

For all that is true, for all of the way
With all of my life
You hold my heart, you have my love
You are my bride


Without a goodbye a passion of lies

Steals you away

The thirst of desire is drawing you in

But the memories of white, the garden

Of life is taken away
But I'm fighting to hold you again

So I will give my life to win your heart

And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home

For all that is true, for all of the way

With all of my life

You hold my heart, you have my love

You are my bride



Nothing can shatter the promise
I made to you
Our love will make you whole
I will be faithful, dying to be with youI will not let you go

But I will give my life to win your heart

And I will tear apart my soul

I'll give away all I know to bring you home
For all that is true, for all of the way
With all of my life
You are my love, you are my church
You are my bride"
-Desert Lands


"And there you stand opened heart--opened doors
Full of life with the world that's wanting more.
But I can see when the lights start to fade,
the day is done and your smile has gone away.

Let me raise you up.

Let me be your love.


May I hold you
as you fall to sleep,
when the world is closing in
and you can't breathe.
May I love you. May I be your shield.
When no one can be found
may I lay you down.

All I want is to keep you safe from the cold...

to give you all that your heart needs the most.



Let me raise you up

Let me be your love


May I hold you
as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
When no one can be found,
may I lay you down.

All that's made me

Is all worth trading

just to have one moment with you.

So I will let go (will let go)

all that I know (that I know)

knowing that you're here with me.

For your love is changing me.


May I hold you as you fall to sleep.
When the world is closing in
and you can't breathe,
may I love you.
May I be your shield.
when no one can be found
may I lay you down
may I..."
-May I


will you let me, as my heart dies
here we go again
as i know it will never end...
for me...
i see you now, that we both realize
i will not begin, what started long ago
ending as a puddle on the floor